Posted by: elvnprya on: April 27, 2009
It must have been almost three years since the last time I met her.
We were hardcore feminist, although my reasons on supporting the cause is debatable. I was 22, as was she. We parade, we made speech, we devoted our sleepless night to spread the word, the idealism of “The Women of the Future”.
Because Women has so much more to offer!
The women of the futures are the women who has the courage to choose.
Women who realize that they have choices, to have abortion, to get married, to pursue their ambition! Independent is the word!
Early marriage will only kill a woman’s dream. Devotion and obedience to the husband will only stops the brain from functioning.
Women must gain control of their own life!
Despite the contrast, we succeeded in sending a number of married young girls back to school. We (somehow) managed in convincing them that juggling between their study and a 3-years old infant would be a wise thing to do. All it takes just a large amount of determination. Which in a way, is true.
Two years after the campaign, she finally found an organization which offers full funding for our feminine movement. The same day, I announced my marriage, and she, in return, stopped talking to me. She even refused to see me, when I proudly say I am going to be a “full time housewife and mother”
I never blamed her. I know that for her, I was betraying the principal.
This is why I was surprised and excited, when she showed up in my front door this morning, wearing her apologetic smile. Without a singe question, I hugged her and we instantly catch up on all the things that were missing.
“How did you manage?” she finally asked me. We are sitting in my chaotic living room. I was desperately trying to make it presentable by running around in my guest’s presence. My 8 months-old-twin has been a handful since they discover other rooms in the house.
“You mean living as a full time mother?” I look up at her, throwing the last bit of a lego in the floor to the basket. She nodded,
“It’s not difficult to be devoted if you love what you are doing” I continued.
“Mmm..” she uttered her doubts.
“You know how people love their job, right? Doesn’t matter if they didn’t earn much, they still love what they are doing. That is also my case. I love being a mother, and I love doing household chores.”
“But, isn’t…you know…dull and boring? You know how those housewives are. In the end they would gossips all day, watch soaps, spending their husband’s cash. They don’t even know how it feel to earn and spend their own cash. It’s like….oh I dunno…” she stopped to emphasize her next statement “It’s like having no life..”
“It doesn’t mean you have to be like that. There are tons of activities you can do. You can read book, watch news, volunteering.” I recounted my own activities to her, half agitated with her remarks. “Wrote a blog, and getting paid for it. Once in a while visits the family”
“But..the brain dead..”
“It only happens when you allow them to die! There are tons of things you can do to keep it alive!” I look at
her, and for once, I recognize the persistence that I always had, “It’s about choices and having control on your own life, remember? You can be everything that you have chosen to become. A brain-dead-nothing-to-do-housewife, an intelligent mother who raised future experts, an ambitious top executive, or even a topless model with an IQ of 300. It’s your choice, and no one else get to decide, but you!”
She was taken aback by my words, I could tell. It never came across her mind, that I actually lived by our principal. Every woman has the right to choose.
My choice is to be a devoted wife and a loving mother. And nothing, could ever change the decision I have made.
One week after our conversation, I found her picture in a magazine. Topless.
I really wonder where did she get the idea.
